I used to think about work all the time. It happened at the movies, dinner with friends, even my child’s birthday party. Thoughts would sneak in about my next deadline, an email that needed sent, or something that happened with my boss the day before. At the time, I assumed it was normal and happened to everyone. It’s hard to let go of job-related stress. People ruminate even when they can’t do anything about what worries them in the moment. Talking with friends I realized that, while taking stress home from work is understandable, it shouldn’t be the norm. An individual’s perception of being away from work, their disengagement from it physically and mentally, sometimes called psychological detachment, correlates with improved life satisfaction (Sonnentag & Fritz, 2008) while inability to detach correlates with indicators of poor wellbeing (Grebner, Semmer, & Elfering, 2005; van Hooff, Geurts, Kompier, & Taris, 2007).

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I struggle with transition and have always had a hard time leaving behind unfinished tasks. I am very passionate about my work, and it is hard for me, especially when there is a tight deadline or important task due, to put it away at the end of the day. I assumed it was a personality quirk for years but became aware of it as a developed skill when a friend recommended, I create routines to help me begin and end the work day. Routines, she said, would help my mind transition. At the time, I thought I had them and they looked something like this:

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Morning: I arrived at the office, turned on my computer, pulled out my notebook, reviewed my to-do list, and checked my email before diving into work;

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Afternoon: I checked my email, went over my to-do list, added anything missing from the list, and turned off my computer before heading out the door.

While I did the same tasks every day in the same order, what I thought of as a routine, it didn’t help me detach. I needed more. Another friend suggested my actions needed meaning. She suggested that, instead of routines, I try rituals. Rituals, she explained, are a secret weapon people can use to affect their feelings and behaviors. I did some research and found a great deal of information suggesting she was right.

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Routines are important to people because they provide structure. Structure makes people feel more in control in an out-of-control world. When things are the same every day, people feel safe.

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Rituals add a level of meaning or implied causality to routines. They add this idea that when people do something in a certain pre-specified way, it will cause a specific outcome. In a 2013 Scientific America article, Gino and Norton explain rituals are symbolic behaviors people perform in relation to meaningful events, and they exist across cultures and throughout time. All humans do them. Psychologists have found rituals can affect multiple emotions, influence thoughts, and affect behaviors (Gino and Norton, 2013). Rituals can improve confidence, reduce anxiety, and prime us for success at things like relaxation. It isn’t clear exactly why rituals work. It may have something to do with their importance throughout human history (and pre-history) in bringing groups together, connecting them, and providing meaning. For whatever reason rituals work, they do for a lot of people.

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After reading about rituals, I explored how to remake my daily routines and found the first most important step was to be mindful in my actions. Each step in my routine needed to be focused, with a purpose directed toward my desired outcome. In other words, each of my actions had to play a role and connect to the final goal of engaging me in or releasing me from my work. Now, every step I do in the morning and afternoon has a purpose behind it. Overtime the outcome has also evolved into not just engaging or disengaging from the day but making the day better.

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Morning: I arrive at the office and pour myself a cup of coffee (specific to this step) before I sit and review my calendar. The coffee is sensory, I associate its smell and taste with work. I look at my calendar, even before checking my email, and review it with the tasks I identified for the day and week. Then, I check my email to ensure no modification is needed to my to-do list. Once I know that is set, I identify the top three things I want to get done, three being mostly important because it is an accomplishable number of tasks and secondarily because three is a symbolic number in our culture. My subconscious likes it.

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Afternoon: Fifteen minutes before I know my day will end (even when I work late), I get a cup of tea, also unique to this step in my day. I check my email, responding to easy messages, filing those that don’t require a response, and flagging things I’ll address the next day. Next, I make and prioritize my to-do list, adding tasks to my calendar for the days ahead. Knowing things are scheduled allows me to let them go in the moment. There will be time to worry about them later. I close the open windows on my computer, with files I’m working on saved to my desktop where they are easily accessed. I clear and stack any papers on my desk, close my notebook, put my pen away, wash my cup and leave.

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It took a few weeks before I saw noticeable improvement, but after engaging in these rituals for a couple of years work rarely sneaks into my thoughts when I’m not actively engaged with it. In addition, I’ve noticed I’m more productive during my workday. Using rituals to help me engage and disengage with work was so successful, I’ve begun developing rituals to help shape other parts of my life, such as dealing with writer’s block and helping me exercise more. Think of three routines you engage in every day. Would any of them help you achieve your goals if they were more ritualized? If you have one in mind, what types of mindful activities would help transition it from a routine to a ritual?

- Shawna Chapman